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> Sometimes, your friends post brilliant Facebook statuses., Share them with us.
Guest_Research Monkey_*
post Dec 10 2012, 11:48 PM
Post #1





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"
QUOTE
"every night she attempts to work on her novel for a few minutes, then proceeds to play angry birds on her phone" -the Atlantic, on why I will never contribute to the zeitgeist


Go.
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Guest_the_crazy_honors_*
post Dec 11 2012, 12:57 AM
Post #2





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I saw this and thought, There are so many great statuses I've seen that I can post here!
Then I realized they were all from Crow.
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Guest_blondie13_*
post Dec 11 2012, 06:56 PM
Post #3





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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you are actually a few million years late. That star is dead, just like your dreams.
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Guest_Crow_*
post Dec 11 2012, 11:00 PM
Post #4





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QUOTE (the_crazy_honors @ Dec 10 2012, 05:57 PM) *
I saw this and thought, There are so many great statuses I've seen that I can post here!
Then I realized they were all from Crow.

Thank you, thank you. I'm awesome, and I take credit for everything.

Unless it's something bad. Then it's Jonesy's fault.

QUOTE
According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you are actually a few million years late. That star is dead, just like your dreams.



This post has been edited by Crow: Dec 11 2012, 11:04 PM
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Guest_AK_WDB_*
post Dec 12 2012, 02:25 AM
Post #5





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QUOTE (blondie13 @ Dec 11 2012, 09:56 AM) *
QUOTE
According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you are actually a few million years late. That star is dead, just like your dreams.


Clever, but the special theory of relativity says there's no absolute definition of simultaneity. In your frame of reference, that star is still alive. wink.gif
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Guest_blondie13_*
post Dec 12 2012, 03:47 AM
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I'm beginning to suspect that "Tears in Heaven" should be removed from my "Gettin' Busy" playlist.
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Guest_AK_WDB_*
post Dec 12 2012, 05:11 AM
Post #7





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QUOTE (blondie13 @ Dec 11 2012, 06:47 PM) *
QUOTE
I'm beginning to suspect that "Tears in Heaven" should be removed from my "Gettin' Busy" playlist.


"Don't worry, honey. Even if I do knock you up, the kid'll probably fall out a window in a few years and you'll be free again."
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Guest_Lackluster_*
post Dec 12 2012, 11:24 PM
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I just looked outside to check the patriarchy and apparently itís reigning men.
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Guest_the_crazy_honors_*
post Dec 14 2012, 12:39 AM
Post #9





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‎"Hitler couldn't have been that bad. I mean, he KILLED HITLER for god's sake." "Yeah, but he also killed the guy who killed Hitler so..."
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Guest_the_crazy_honors_*
post Dec 21 2012, 05:58 PM
Post #10





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I want to make a shirt that says, "I'm not a homophobe, but the chicken is too &$%# good" and wear it every time I go to Chik-fil-A.
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Guest_dizzyizzy_*
post Dec 21 2012, 06:03 PM
Post #11





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QUOTE (the_crazy_honors @ Dec 13 2012, 07:39 PM) *
QUOTE
‎"Hitler couldn't have been that bad. I mean, he KILLED HITLER for god's sake." "Yeah, but he also killed the guy who killed Hitler so..."



obligatory "Wow, I did nazi that one coming."
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Guest_blondie13_*
post Dec 28 2012, 07:06 PM
Post #12





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this morning i was standing in front of a mirror looking at my naked body and thinking "I'm going to get kicked out of this Ikea pretty soon"
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Guest_the_crazy_honors_*
post Feb 6 2013, 03:30 AM
Post #13





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My will is as strong as 10,000... pelicans.
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TinDefacto
post Mar 4 2013, 03:30 AM
Post #14


Turtlemaster.
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Group: Admin
Posts: 1,278
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Member No.: 21



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Whenever I get a headache, I take two tablets every six hours and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
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Guest_the_crazy_honors_*
post May 14 2013, 01:15 AM
Post #15





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QUOTE
If psychics really can tell the future, why do so many of them run shops in strip malls rather than become insanely wealthy trading futures stocks on Wall Street?
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madcap
post May 23 2013, 11:26 PM
Post #16


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Posts: 1,519
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(...) added a life event from May 23, 2013 to her timeline: Became fat. ó at holyoke ma.
Like ∑ ∑ about a minute ago ∑
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Guest_Dr. Roffles_*
post May 24 2013, 06:09 AM
Post #17





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Josiah [lastname]
This is my view of Christian freedom. I'm free to safely mess around with my sister's dog. But anything I do will offend her. Therefore I cannot glorify God and joke about the dog. It is permissible for me, but it's not beneficial. Thus it is not acceptable in my life.
Like ∑ ∑ Share ∑ 6 minutes ago via mobile ∑

Lucas [lastname] but psalms 107:2 says "let the redeemed of the lord say so..." so you can make fun of your sister's dog, and when she confronts you on it, you can turn around and tell her, "So?"
2 minutes ago
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Guest_the_crazy_honors_*
post Jun 1 2013, 06:48 PM
Post #18





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QUOTE
In school, you're taught a lesson and given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches a lesson.

And in Decathlon, you're given a test, and you learn your lesson when your coach hits you upside the head with the scores packet.
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madcap
post Jun 16 2013, 07:40 PM
Post #19


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LADIES: text any guy you've dated in the past 9 months "Happy Father's Day..."
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Guest_Widget!_*
post Jun 16 2013, 11:28 PM
Post #20





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QUOTE (madcap @ Jun 16 2013, 12:40 PM) *
QUOTE
LADIES: text any guy you've dated in the past 9 months "Happy Father's Day..."



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